by Liz | All Things Kids, Life Snapshot
…that is truly the question. There are so many schools of thought in regard to this debate. The “cry-it-out” philosophy, “on-demand” philosophy and various mixes of the two.
From the beginning, I truly thought I’d follow one particular book and just make it work. I chose “The Conteded Little Baby Book” on the advice of my sister-in-law and liked its no nonsense approach and clear reasoning. I read some excerpts of other books but just couldn’t identify with them. My first piece of advice is to choose a method or book that makes sense for you and your goals as a parent.
Many people are frightened away from this book because it seems very rigid and tends to support the “cry-it-out” way of thinking. I can assure you that I did not employ those methods (I’m a total wimp who can’t let my baby cry for more than a few minutes!) and I used a flexible approach when “enforcing” the schedule.
The best thing the book did was provide a structure that was developmentally appropriate for my baby and gave me ideas on how to help her acclimate to the schedule. The philosophy was to create an environment in which you and your child know the routine and are comfortable with the balance of sleep, feeding and activity. That way, if your baby is upset…it’s fairly easy to determine the cause. Once the baby is on a rough schedule, you can typically anticipate a problem and deal with it before your baby becomes frantic. Obviously, babies change a lot during the early stages so this process needs quite a bit of flexibility. I found that as long as I used my schedule as a guideline and not a rule, generally I’d do ok.
Growth spurts throw everything for a loop! I eventually learned to just let my baby tell me what she wanted for a few days. If she had just woken up and been changed but started to get fussy, I’d move up her feeding time to keep her content. Then adjust the next stages as well and just follow her lead. As long as she was happy, I could cope with a few days of sleep deprivation. Once the spurt was over, she’d naturally return to our old routine and off we’d go until the next spurt.
It took a while before I learned how to interpret her signals but we do fairly well now. Don’t give up and don’t be discouraged if it feels like you aren’t making progress, you are! Every day is a learning process and I always try to remember that as long as she’s content, nothing else matters.
by Liz | All Things Kids
You’ve all seen those moms who are always calm, collected and have the perfect solution in any situation that arises. Without hesitation they pull out band-aids, spare children’s clothing, snacks…you name it and adeptly handle whatever is thrown their way.
Well, I am not one of these moms. The only feasible way I can see to be this type of mom is to load myself down with an overstuffed, suitcase sized diaper bag that is more likely to spew its contents in an awkward puddle than contain anything useful for the task at hand.
I’ve spent the first three months of Adelena’s life approximately 30 minutes from my home town. This means a 30 minute car ride for every doctor’s visit an visit to my family. Each trip turned into a whole day affair to accommodate naps and ensure I didn’t have a screaming baby in the car. Thirty minutes driving can feel like an eternity! I’d pack my diaper bag chock full of everything I thought if need and was constantly forgetting certain items.
That said, there are a few things I’ve learned in the past two months that have helped immensely!
As soon as something in your bag runs low, replace it! Just use the remainder at home and you won’t risk running out of something at the worst possible moment.
A family friend kindly have us a monogrammed bag that holds all the small items I might need like diaper creams, vaseline, extra wipes, pacifiers, etc. As long as I keep this well stocked, I’ll never be without those crucial items.
You can begin to estimate the number of diapers you’ll use per day fairly quickly. I try to keep my diaper bag stocked with approximately one day’s supply so I know I’m covered.
Extra onesies and an extra pair of pants can never go wrong. There are days I’ve gone through three or four shirts in a morning and you never know when a spectacular diaper blow-out will strike!
Bibs are your friend! Protect those cute outfits with a much easier to replace bib.
Burp cloths are gold. Find a brand or type you like and always have a few extra on hand. I even keep a few in the car for those really crazy days.
by Liz | All Things Kids, Chaos Hacks
Leaving the hospital after the baby was born was both incredibly exciting and incredibly nerve-wracking. Having a team of medical professionals around for any tiny question that might come up is a rather comforting experience. However, I knew I wouldn’t miss the noise and frequent interruptions and couldn’t wait to be in my own space again. Once home, we quickly realized how valuable all that help was though there were a few products we were extremely fortunate to have and helped make our lives much easier and a bit less stressful.
- Angelcare Monitor – This is an amazing device. We have the audio version, which is more than sufficient in our tiny house. It’s a monitor that also has a panel that fits under the crib (or cradle/bassinet) mattress which alerts you if the baby stops moving for more than 15 seconds. As I’m sure many new parents can attest, one of our biggest fears was that something might happen during the night while we’re sleeping and we would have no idea. The peace of mind this monitor affords is fantastic. We tested it ourselves before the baby arrived and it’s amazingly responsive even under a thick crib mattress. Like many new parents, the first few nights home we had the baby sleeping in a cradle in our room. The baby did fine…but we barely slept a wink. A few days and a hurricane later, we moved the baby into her crib. Having the monitor made this transition much easier and we’ve been sleeping much sounder ever since! One minor problem we had was that the monitor creates some white noise/static when activated by the baby’s noises. As a result, I was waking up for every minor grunt and groan if the monitor picked it up. Eventually I realized you could turn the volume down slightly which eliminated the static and now I only wake when the baby is fussing or crying to the point where I’d want to check on her.
- SwaddleMe Sleep Sacks – During the first week or two, we used the hospital blankets and receiving blankets to swaddle our daughter at night. She definitely loved the swaddle and slept much better having it. We perfected the folding and tucking but this turned night feedings and changings into quite a production and the baby quickly learned how to free her arms. Once she was free, she’d wake more frequently and not sleep as well as she might have. My cousin had given us some of the SwaddleMe sacks and once we pulled them out, this changed everything. The velcro tabs make changing a breeze and you can cinch the sack quite snugly to avoid little hands and arms from wriggling free.
- Cloth Diapers/Burp Cloths – There are a whole slew of burp cloths out there but nothing stands up like these do. They’re large and very absorbent. Once the baby started spitting up quite frequently, these were invaluable. We still go through about 8-10 per day but I can’t imagine what my laundry pile would be like without them! There are a few varieties with varying weights of material. I prefer the thicker, padded variety as they’re softer to the touch and seem to be the most absorbent.
- Boppy Pillow – This is great for breastfeeding and bottle feeding. At the beginning, I’d settle the baby right on top while feeding which worked great. Now that she’s a bit bigger, I can prop it under my arm and elbow on whichever side she’s nursing from. Our baby was also a bit gassy so after feeding, she’d get uncomfortable if we put her down flat right away. We quickly learned that the Boppy kept her at enough of an incline when we placed her inside the U shape with her head well supported on the cushion. This is also a great position for awake time as she can look around easily. I would definitely not leave her unattended as the baby can wriggle around and eventually slide down into the center of pillow. However, it’s great for those times when you need your hands free but can keep a constant eye on the baby!
- Medela breast pump – Being able to nurse is an amazing bonding experience and has been very rewarding for me. There are times though when you need the freedom of giving a bottle. This bump has been very easy to use and has made life much easier. We decided early on that we wanted to give our baby a bottle a day so that she’d get used to it and this has worked very well for us. My husband has a chance to bond with her every night and I manage to get a few consecutive hours of sleep. It has also made it possible for us to visit family or run errands without worrying about finding a place to feed the baby. It has a battery pack for pumping on the go and a cooler bag for storing and transporting milk. There’s even enough room in the bag for a few extra items like a nursing cover, extra bottles etc. They have some other handy products as well, such as microwaveable sterilizing bags, lanolin, milk storage bags and more.
Those are our main finds so far, more to come as Adelena keeps growing!
by Liz | All Things Kids
I have to admit, while there’s no way to be completely prepared for labor and delivery, I did feel fairly relaxed about the experience. This was largely due to the fact that I had a fairly uncomplicated birth for which we’re very fortunate, but there’s a lot to be said for doing your homework and reading as much credible material as you can.
Rupturing Membranes: My water broke around 1:30 in the afternoon but I didn’t start labor that I could tell. Rather than go straight to the hospital, I opted to see how things progressed on their own. I was close to both my doctor’s office and the hospital in the event I did go into active labor but I was much more comfortable and was able to eat a good meal before being admitted.
Once your water breaks, our hospital has a policy of not letting you go 24 hours past that point without delivering. While I didn’t know this at the time, it was to my benefit that I didn’t hang out at the hospital all that time and was able to relax and do things at my own pace. I would definitely recommend asking your doctor and hospital about any policies such as this so that you’re prepared.
Hospital Admission: While we had been pre-approved by our insurance and had submitted some paperwork to our hospital, there were a whole slew of forms I had to fill out. You can do this ahead of time if you call and ask your hospital. I can’t imagine having to do all that while in the midst of labor!
Medication: I went into the birth experience wanting to try for an unmedicated birth, but I also wanted to keep my options open. Once we arrived and it was obvious that I wasn’t in active labor, our doctor gave us his opinion as to how things would go. While we had a choice to wait longer before choosing to be induced with Pitocin (we waited 4 hours to see if I would start active labor on my own), he did encourage us to make a decision within a reasonable time frame so as not to compromise the 24 hour limit.
In the end, we chose to start Pitocin which immediately kick-started my labor. This also had the added effect of making my contractions more intense and closer together than they might have been without the pit. After four hours of labor, I had progressed about 2 more centimeters but my body was fighting the contractions despite my best efforts. I simply didn’t have enough time between contractions to relax and prepare for the next contraction. At that point, we opted to get an epidural. This procedure takes about 20 minutes (once the anesthesiologist is in the room, keep in mind he might be otherwise occupied!) so definitely plan in advance if you want to choose this option. The epidural brought immediate relief. However, my body relaxed so much that it affected the baby’s heart rate. There were a few intense moments but she recovered quickly and all was well.
Approximately 20 minutes later, I was closing fast on 10 centimeters. In my mind, this was a huge benefit of waiting as long as I did for the epidural. My body was working hard on getting ready for delivery and the epidural allowed me a short recovery period where my body was able to move the baby into position and get ready for the next phase. One hour after having received the epidural, I was ready to push!
Delivery: Even with drugs, this can be an intense and painful process! Everyone responds differently to the meds, I was very fortunate in that I still felt intense pressure during pushing. Some people have reported being completely numb and having no idea when to push, this was definitely not the case with me. While I’m sure that pushing was much less painful than it could have been, I still felt entirely connected to the process. It was a ton of work and felt like an eternity, but 17 minutes later…Adelena was born. My husband had to tell me to open my eyes and look because I was still so locked into the pushing!
Post-partum: I had requested that the baby be handed to me right away and even though she was a slippery mess, it was so amazing to hold her in my arms that first time. It also serves as a great distraction from the delivery of the placenta and any stitching you might have to endure. Keep in mind that, even with a vaginal delivery, you’re going to be in a fair amount of pain for a while.
Take advantage of your time in the hospital! While it’s not exactly restful, it’s a wonderful feeling to know that you and your baby have help at a moments notice if you need it. Between feedings, meals, nurses checking in, babies crying in neighboring rooms or visitors…there’s constant activity. Catnaps are key!
Also take advantage of the expertise around you. Ask all your questions and don’t think anything is too silly to ask. Believe me, they’ve heard it all!
Final Thoughts: Overall, we were relatively relaxed throughout the entire process and I think that played a large role in how it all transpired in the end. There are always complications that may occur and every birth is different. Being prepared for many different outcomes and trusting the experts to guide you in the right direction is invaluable. Remember…at the end of your journey is a huge reward that will change your life forever!
by Liz | All Things Kids
I’m still here! Things have been hectic the last few weeks but are beginning to settle back into.a routine.
The baby has arrived! Adelena Therese was born August 20th and has thrown our lives into complete disarray…in a good way!
Joe has started his new school year and having changed grade levels, he us still working out the kinks.
Within the first week of having Adelena home we had an earthquake and a hurricane. Fun times!
All in all it’s been amazing so far and we have already learned a lot.
More to come soon on the birth experience, items we can’t live without and the benefits of living in a tiny house with a newborn!
by Liz | All Things Kids
You know you’ve been pregnant for 9 months when…
- people have stopped asking when you’re due and have resorted to asking, “Are you still pregnant?”.
- you’ve finally passed the 37 week milestone and are ready for anything.
- the only attention your feet (what feet?!) get is from your pedicurist or your long-suffering husband.
- your pregnancy/newborn reading material has been completely overridden by internet searches for natural induction methods.
- every twinge or cramp is followed by intense evaluation about whether or not it could be a contraction.
- rolling over in bed or getting off the couch involves the same effort and preparation as running a marathon.
- household chores require 30 minutes to 3 hours of rest between each 10 minute burst of activity.
- social engagements are now accepted or declined based upon proximity to your due date.
- one or two social commitments per week qualifies as an insanely busy week.
- every outing is planned around proximity to a bathroom.
- you’ve become intensely grateful that you still have 3 outfits that feel relatively comfortable.
- you’ve actually considered finding yourself a mu mu.
- you’re plagued by intense (and not so secret) jealousy whenever you hear of someone going into labor or giving birth.
- you know the end is near, rationally, but have an intense fear that you’ll be pregnant forever.
- a good night’s sleep involves only four trips to the bathroom, rather than the more common 5-6.
- you’ve completely run out of baby things to sort, wash, re-sort, organize or otherwise titivate over.
- asking for and accepting help has become a habit, rather than a begrudging necessity.
- you’ve resorted to finding inane things to do with your time as you await your next doctor visit!
I know it’ll all be worth it in the end…but man is it tough to be patient! August is a busy month for new babies and I know quite a number who are due to be born any day now. Best of luck to all the new and veteran moms, can’t wait to hear all the good news!
