You know you’ve been pregnant for 9 months when…

• people have stopped asking when you’re due and have resorted to asking, “Are you still pregnant?”.
• you’ve finally passed the 37 week milestone and are ready for anything.
• the only attention your feet (what feet?!) get is from your pedicurist or your long-suffering husband.
• your pregnancy/newborn reading material has been completely overridden by internet searches for natural induction methods.
• every twinge or cramp is followed by intense evaluation about whether or not it could be a contraction.
• rolling over in bed or getting off the couch involves the same effort and preparation as running a marathon.
• household chores require 30 minutes to 3 hours of rest between each 10 minute burst of activity.
• social engagements are now accepted or declined based upon proximity to your due date.
• one or two social commitments per week qualifies as an insanely busy week.
• every outing is planned around proximity to a bathroom.
• you’ve become intensely grateful that you still have 3 outfits that feel relatively comfortable.
• you’ve actually considered finding yourself a mu mu.
• you’re plagued by intense (and not so secret) jealousy whenever you hear of someone going into labor or giving birth.
• you know the end is near, rationally, but have an intense fear that you’ll be pregnant forever.
• a good night’s sleep involves only four trips to the bathroom, rather than the more common 5-6.
• you’ve completely run out of baby things to sort, wash, re-sort, organize or otherwise titivate over.
• asking for and accepting help has become a habit, rather than a begrudging necessity.
• you’ve resorted to finding inane things to do with your time as you await your next doctor visit!

I know it’ll all be worth it in the end…but man is it tough to be patient! August is a busy month for new babies and I know quite a number who are due to be born any day now. Best of luck to all the new and veteran moms, can’t wait to hear all the good news!