No really. I’m not kidding.
It all began with a cheerful car ride, our first big road trip with both girls (Maggie* – 8 weeks and Lena -2 years). We arrived early, which is quite a feat for us. Our typical trip involves screeching into the ferry lot with seconds to spare after running any number of blue haired grandmas off the road in our zippy blue Subaru.
Anyway, we patiently waited for our boat and my husband and Lena walked aboard to secure a decent seat. I was left with the baby and only had to get the two of us parked and upstairs. Easy peasy.
Queue epic screaming from infant while I struggle to calm her. I frantically debate how much time I have before my lane starts to board because I am of course, first in line. Crushed by indecision, precious seconds tick by. Unable to take the desperate cries any longer and all attempts at soothing having failed I leap, yes leap, out of the car and free her from her car seat. I race against the clock as cars disappear from the row next to me and the crew member makes his way closer. Finally, a burp! Eureka!!
Back in the car seat, buckles buckled, me in my seat and one arm stretched at an impossible angle to hold the paci in. Dizzy at my success I fail to realize I’m next and a gentle tap on the glass jars me back to reality. Right, the boat.
On we go and mercifully the child remains calm. I pull up, set the brake and turn to open the door. You have GOT to be kidding me!!! The car next to ours is sandwiched so close I have to contort myself like a circus performer to get out. I’m praying no one witnessed my gyrations because it couldn’t have been pretty. So if it was that difficult for me…what are the chances of pulling a car seat out of that same car you might wonder? Well, quite frankly…zero. Despite putting my child at risk with all manner of exit strategies, they all fail. At long last the owner of the car next to us sees our predicament and manages to squeeze forward a few more inches to give me a centimeter more space with which to pry my child loose.
At that point I practically turn into a puddle of goo on the spot. Ah the adventures of parenting.
*I realize Maggie hasn’t been formally introduced to you all yet, more on that later.